


Five Nights of Whatever

by Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts



Series: Dax's Septiplier Works [4]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's, Youtube RPF, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Jack is Phone Guy, Jack is also a handyman, M/M, Mark is Mike
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:56:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8406073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts/pseuds/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts
Summary: Mark gets a job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. One of his coworkers is... interesting.





	1. Prologue: Hire My Ass

**Author's Note:**

> Procrastinating writing septiplier by...writing...septiplier...  
> Huh...

Mark Edward Fischbach was broke as hell and there wasn’t any more to it than that. He would have taken any job at all by that point, so when he saw the ad in the paper for a Night Guard position at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza he drove right over to fill out an application. He had to admit when he walked in that the animatronics were a bit creepy. There was a bear, a rabbit, and a...duck? Chicken? He wasn’t entirely sure but he supposed it didn’t matter. 

 

The trio were singing a bouncy tune about having a picnic as he passed, dodging running children and trying to figure out who to talk to about a job. He noticed one uniformed man near a curtain with an ‘Out of Order’ sign. He had green hair and a toolbox. The man ducked behind the curtain and Mark made his way over since that was the only employee he had actually seen. 

 

Mark peeked behind the curtain just in time to see the green haired man kneel down behind the hook-handed fox. The man noticed the disturbance and looked up, appearing confused and annoyed.

 

“I’m a handyman, not a babysitter. Ye got an issue with yer kid it’s yer own business.” The man stated, sounding fed up and tired. 

 

Mark took note of the accent, but decided not to point it out.

 

“Oh, no. I don’t have a kid.” Mark corrected as the other opened the back of the fox’s suit and popped a hatch.

 

“Then what in blue hell are ye doin’ here, creep?” The man asked, adjusting his grip on a screwdriver.

 

“Oh my god, I’m not a creep. I’m here about the ‘Help Wanted’ ad. Rude.”

 

“Ah, so yer gonna be the Night Guard.”

 

The man returned to his work, disconnecting wires and replacing some of them. Mark watched him with his arms folded over his chest, since he didn’t know what else to do or who else to talk to. He did startle when the broken animatronic twitched, seeming to look directly at him. The man barked out a laugh and patted the fox between the ears. 

 

“Easy there. He won’t hurt’cha.” The irishman chuckled.

 

“I know that.” Mark retorted, embarrassed that he had jumped.

 

The handyman scoffed and stood. “I wasn’t talkin’ to _you_. C’mon. I’ll take ye to the manager. My name’s Sean but ye can call me Jack.”

 

Mark introduced himself as well and followed, sparing a glance back at the robotic fox for a moment. He wondered about Jack’s comment. Why reassure a robot? He shrugged it off, deciding it was probably a joke, and continued on behind Jack to the office.


	2. Night One: Big Metal Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're ever hired on the spot...  
> Run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack is way too chill and Mark has no chill.

Mark got the job and was told to start that night. He was surprised he was hired so easily, but he wasn’t about to complain. He simply took his issued uniform home, took a shower and nap, and returned to the pizzeria at 11:30 that night.

 

Nobody was there when he arrived, but there was a note attached to a small box of tapes on the desk in his office. It read; **Listen to these.**

 

_Who the hell still listened to tapes?_ Mark frowned at them and briefly searched the desk for a cassette player. He found it attached to an absolute dinosaur of a spiral-corded landline phone. He put the first tape in, and then had to take it right back out. He felt both a bit nostalgic and irritated as he had to find an ink pen to rewind it. Once rewound he put it in again.

 

_“TOP O’ TH’ MORNIN’ TO YA!!”_

 

Mark turned the volume down.

 

_“Er… Midnight fer you I guess. I wanted ter record this fer ye since it’s yer first night. Gotta do a legal thing first though, so here it is; Welcome ter Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a magical place fer kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage ter property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within ninety days, or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets replaced.”_

 

Mark glared at the cassette player, but the audio continued.

 

_“I know that sounds bad, but ye got nothin’ ter worry about. I worked in that office before you, actually. I know the ropes an’ I know how Freddy an’ his friends get at night. Now before you look at yer cameras and find one gone, don’t freak out. They’ve got a free-roaming mode set to a clock that lets ‘em walk around at night. They’re old. Their servos’ll lock up if they sit still fer too long. They used ter walk around in the daytime too, but… er… I’m sure everyone’s heard what happened in the 80s by now.”_

 

Mark quickly pulled up the camera screens to look through them. The rabbit had left the stage and was currently walking around the main party room.

 

_“Ye’ll notice ye got two doors. Ye can close those any time ye like, but it’s gonna use up power. There’s a blind spot at each of those doors that the blind spot doesn’t catch. That’s what the lights’re for. Those use up power too. Try not ter let the animatronics in your office, or they win.”_

 

Mark huffed, looking up from the screen to shake his head. “What do you mean they _win_?!” He screeched as Jack left his number on the tape. 

 

Mark plugged the number into his phone just in case he needed it and returned his attention to the cameras. The duck-chicken had moved as well. He couldn’t see where that one had gone, but he could hear things moving in the kitchen so he assumed that’s where that one was. The rabbit was in the hallway. Freddy and the fox hadn’t moved. Of course, there was still an ‘Out of Order’ sign, so maybe the fox wasn’t going to move at all anyway.

 

The night dragged on for Mark. He had an underlying sense of panic but he let that out in the forms of the occasional screech when the rabbit or duck (He was fairly sure it was a duck.) showed up outside a door, which he would then slam shut as fast as he could and do his best not to cry. He didn’t know what Jack had meant by the animatronics winning but it sounded bad and he didn’t want to find out.

 

When his shift ended at six in the morning, Jack found him huddled under the desk. He knelt down to Mark’s level and sighed.

 

“Yeah, that’s about how my first night went too. They’re back on the stage now.”

 

“WHY DO YOU STILL WORK HERE?!” Mark shouted, nearly in tears.

 

“I got used to it. Grew on me. Here, get off the floor.” Jack said as he offered a hand.

 

Mark let the other help him up, and didn’t bother letting go of the hand as he was lead out of the office and to the party room. The animatronics were indeed back on the stage, but it didn’t make Mark feel better. They were staring at him, he could feel it. Jack, unbothered by Mark’s apparent fear, took him right to the front of the stage and began to speak _to the robots._

 

“Top o’ the mornin’ guys. This is Mark. Ye scared ‘im real bad last night. He doesn’t know the game yet, ye gotta go easy on him. Okay?”

 

Mark wanted to be anywhere but here. Jack was crazy. Jack was unaware of Mark’s train of thought and happily continued.

 

“Mark, this is Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie Bunny, and Chica Chicken. There’s Captain Foxy too, but he hasn’t been feelin’ himself since some older kids tried takin’ him apart, poor guy.”

 

“Jack I don’t want to get to know them, I just want to go home where robots aren't trying to kill me and eat me or stuff me into a suit or-” Mark began to hyperventilate and Jack sat him down at a table, rubbing his back with his free hand since Mark still hadn’t let go of the other.

 

“Dude, try and relax. They weren’t gonna kill you. They just like to play their game. You gotta try to understand, I know it's weird. They’re like children. Big metal babies. They just wanna play with somebody, that’s all.”

 

Mark finally let go of Jack’s hand to scrub both of his own over his face in an attempt to calm himself down. The other man’s hand on his back was making more progress in that field, but every little bit of comfort helped. He looked back up at the three animatronics. They looked at him. He wanted to throw up, so he rushed himself to the restroom and did that, leaving Jack behind in the party room.

 

Jack was working on Foxy again when Mark returned. The curtain to Pirate Cove was wide open. Jack was cursing softly to himself as he toyed with the hinge to the fox’s jaw, unable to get it to close. As soon as he let go of it, it would just fall open no matter what adjustments he made. 

 

“The hell…?” Jack muttered, and sat back on his legs with a sigh of defeat. “I’m sorry, buddy. Might have ter get ye a new part. That might take a while…”

 

Foxy winked. Or just blinked. The eye-patch made it unclear.

 

Mark cleared his throat, “I’m going home now…”

 

Jack looked up and nodded. “Yer comin’ back tonight, right? Ye can call me instead o’ just the tapes. Might help you stay calm.”

 

Mark thought about it for a moment, then agreed. “Yeah… Yeah okay.”

 

Jack grinned and wrote down his number. Mark already had it saved to his phone from the first training tape, but now it actually felt like he had permission to call. He stopped for fast food on the drive home, tossed his uniform into the wash once there, and let himself zone out for a while to mentally analyze every decision of his life that had brought him to this point. 

 

His job sucked, but he really needed the money. At least Jack seemed nice once you got past the crazy. He was attractive too, now that Mark had the time to think about it. He sighed, picked up his phone, and texted Jack.

 

**Mark: im gonna need coffee. want to get that together between our shifts? its mark btw**

 

There was a long pause in which Mark wondered if he had overstepped a boundary, then his phone finally buzzed.

 

**Jack: PRAISE BE THE COFFEE GODS!!!  
Jack: yes**

 

Mark laughed easily at both the intensity of the first text and the drastic change of tone between both.

 

**Mark: ok. meet up at freddys?**

**Jack: works for me**

**Mark: great!**

 

Mark grinned at his phone and set it on the end table, plugging it into its charger. He set to take a quick shower, dreading his upcoming shift a little less than he did before. He wasn’t entirely convinced the robotic animals didn’t want to kill him, but at least he wasn’t alone.


	3. Night Two: Foxy Go Round the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whats the difference between a 7-foot broken robotic fox and a toddler?  
> Absolutely nothing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hallows!

The boys met up outside the door to the pizzeria at about ten pm. Mark was in uniform, but Jack had had time to go home and redress in normal clothes. Normal apparently meaning ridiculously adorable in his blue hoodie and a grey flatcap, a shock of green hair peeking from under the hat. He had earphones hooked into his phone, typing away and deaf to the world until his eye caught movement. He grinned widely at Mark when he recognized him and took an earphone out. Mark had already thought the other man attractive, but with a smile like that he was smitten.

 

“Hi!” Jack called cheerfully, unhooking the wire in his phone and putting it away.

 

“Hello,” Mark responded with a wave.

 

They walked together to a near Starbucks, which was empty aside from the employees. Of course it would be. Not many people wanted caffeine after dark aside from night-shifters like Mark anyway. They ordered and sat. Jack was amused that Mark seemed to be the type to just toss a double-shot into what was essentially a milkshake while the irishman preferred hot and bitter.

 

“So…” Mark began, fidgeting and hoping his question wasn’t rude. “What are you doing in America?”

 

“Well, right now I’m havin’ a coffee.” Jack chuckled at his own snark, and then gave a straighter answer. “I was an exchange student in high school. Decided ter stay.”

 

Mark nodded, accepting the answer before asking a new question. “You said the animatronics are like children playing a game… What game?”

 

“It’s sort of like hide and seek, but more complicated. They’ve all got a pattern.” Jack fell into an explanation of the patterns and rules of the game which took quite a while as he had a tendency to ramble.

 

“What happens if they win?”

 

“They used ter lock me in the parts an’ service room, but they like me better now and they got ter where they’d jus’ sit in the office with me. I think Freddy’s scared of the dark, cuz he’ll barge in there fer company if the power goes out.”

 

Mark’s head reeled at all of the information and he hoped the irishman knew what he was talking about and not actually crazy as Mark had initially assumed. After that, they fell into easy conversation over a shared sense of humor and a love for video games. If not for an alarm on Mark’s phone they would have probably ended up talking all night, but Mark had to start his shift soon. They walked back to Freddy’s before separating. Jack got into his car and drove away, and Mark watched him go before entering the building to start his second night.

 

He avoided eye contact with the animatronics as he passed the stage, going straight to his office. He clicked to the camera watching the stage, checked his power level, tested the doors, and finally sat down.

 

“Alright,” He said to himself, forcing confidence. “Game on.”

 

He followed Bonnie and Chica with the cameras for a while. Despite the fact Jack had told him he was in no real danger, he still had a sense of unease. Even if they really were like children, he knew kids could get violent. At least all seemed fine in the first few hours, then he heard the footsteps. Very loud footsteps. He checked the left hall cam just in time to see Foxy sprint past. He jumped up to reach for the door button, but he failed to press it before the giant vulpine had made its way into the room.

 

Mark screamed. Foxy screamed. Mark dove under his desk. Foxy huddled down in a corner, jaw flopping limply against his chest as he plopped loudly onto the floor. The animatronic curled his hooked arm around his legs and used his only hand to close his mouth and hold it shut. The two stared at each other for a moment. Mark was confused. This was not part of the pattern that had been explained to him. Maybe because the fox was broken?

 

His confusion was mirrored in Foxy, who flipped up his eye-patch and titled his head. Unsure of what else to do, Mark took out his phone to text Jack.

 

**Mark: you awake? fox is in office**

**Jack: sleep is for the weak**

 

Two seconds after Mark got that message, his phone began to ring. It was Jack, so he answered. 

 

“Hello?”

 

 _”Hey. Put me on speaker?”_ Mark clicked the button to do so, and let Jack know he was audible to the room. _Hey there buddy!”_

 

The fox’s lopsided ears twitched, and he seemed to brighten. An odd squall came from the animatronic, not words but it still seemed like a response of sorts.

 

_”I don’t work nights anymore, remember? I told’ja twice. I’ll see ye in the mornin’ yeah? Mark, what’s he doin’?”_

 

“It-”

 

_”He’s a he. Be nice ye focker.”_

 

“He’s just staring at the phone? He put his hook in his ear.” Mark explained, and was surprised when Jack began to sing.

 

_”Foxy go round the moon_  
Foxy go round the stars  
Foxy go round the moon  
On a Sunday afternoon, WHOOPS!” 

 

Foxy made a fist with his hand, letting his jaw fall open as he moved his hook around his fist like it was orbiting a planet, or moon. He then clapped on the shouted ‘whoops’. Jack repeated the verse a few more times, the animatronic happily following along with coordinated hand and hook movements.

 

 _”Ye feel better now, buddy?”_ Jack asked.

 

“He nodded.” Mark relayed.

 

_“Good. Can ye go back to the Cove fer me? I promise ye’ll see me in the mornin’ but ye gotta be good fer Mark and go ter bed.”_

 

Foxy stood and left the office, and Mark followed him with the cameras just to be sure he was back in his place before turning off speaker and putting his phone to his ear.

 

“Okay, he’s behind the curtain again. What the hell was that about?”

 

He could almost hear Jack shrug. _”He’s jus’ been lonely since he got hurt. He’s a big sweetie but it’s been hard on ‘im bein’ away from the kids.”_

 

If he hadn’t just seen a robotic fox behave exactly like a two-year-old he would have rolled his eyes. He was now certain Jack wasn’t crazy, if there had been any prior doubt. The two said goodnight and Mark hung up to resume his job. The others were all walking around the stage but not leaving it, which made sense once he realized Foxy had gotten in the office first and the game was won for the night. 

 

Jack showed up for his morning shift at exactly six am, greeting the trio before going to Pirate’s Cove as he promised. Mark watched him on the camera for a minute before leaving the office to greet him.

 

“Not under the desk this time?” Jack teased, and Mark showed him his most important finger.


End file.
